Out with the old, In with the new---a New Blog

I am giving up my Minivan Mom Revolt Blog. I have grown tired of writing about politics, even tough I find it fascinating. It was fun for a while, but I am more interested in writing about my experiences as a hospice nurse and lessons about life that I have learned from the dying.

Hope that you visit my new blog, What Death has Taught Me About Life

www.deathasmyteacher.blogspot.com


Thank you.

Easter break

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. ~Clarence W. Hall

Taking a wonderful springtime break. Hope you are, too.

R.I.P. Hate

“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare

I thought hate was dead.

I mean, we have seen so much hate over the years. Seems as though we hated black people and they us, and now we have a black President. Homosexuals of both genders are now some of our favorite celebrities, before they had to hide in shame. We not only accept them now, they can be married and we celebrate the event publicly. I mean, these are big steps forward. Progressive. Understanding of differences beats hate. I thought we were really growing up.

I was so hopeful of this promise of the end of hate and the beginning of acceptance of one other. A decade for the history books. My daughter would grow up in a better world.

And then they tried to pass a healthcare bill.

Suddenly, hate is all over the news. People spitting on people. People yelling racial slurs against people. Bricks thrown through office windows. Geesh. What is next?

I have to say that I am not going to point fingers in any one direction. Blame is everywhere. I have never felt more afraid to speak my views openly in my lifetime of 50 years. Scary stuff.

Friends against friends. Neighbor's fighting each other. Even families divided over this issue. And it is spreading like wild fire.

I thought a while back we were mad about the war. Not in any kind of hateful way, just angry. But that seems to be old news now, even though our troops are still dying, our deficit increasing and no end in sight. Seems that allowing someone to have health insurance is more important than the war that President Obama has now escalated by adding more troops. Didn't he promise to bring our troops home?

But, no bother about that anymore. We have to fight about who can have a primary care physician instead.

This is crazy to me. Is this who we have become?

And what about Sarah Palin? She is certainly fueling the fire. I hate to say this, but she is beyond a legend in her own mind. She is getting people riled up. And not in a good way. In a bad way. I mean really, "targeting" people? With pictures that look like rifle aims? That is over the top. Really dumb.

And I am tired of hearing about the "tea party movement" and the "coffee movement". Good grief. Sounds like the nation needs a bowel movement. Are we all just cranky and constipated with our own angst?

I am also tired of the rhetoric. TV has become a whine-fest courtesy of MSNBC and Fox News. The Republicans are evil; no, the Democrats are. I am starting to think that this is all about money and ratings and not anything about real news at all.

But you knew that already. I know.

And what is up with the Vice President dropping the F-bomb on TV? That is not good, either. A hateful word if ever there was one.

Have we all dumbed down this much? Have we become like the movie, "Idiocracy?"

It certainly seems we are headed that way.

And what are we teaching our kids? That hate is okay? That we do not have to take care of one another? That we can be disrespectful because we disagree with someone?

You know, bullying is escalating in schools. And most things are learned at home. So, you do the math.

I don't know what the answer is. I guess I will just hope that people come to their senses and denounce this ridiculous behavior. Maybe shed the fear that is pervading and fueling the hate.

So, what is it that we all fear so much that is making us so hateful?

Is it change? Is it the fear of someone else triumphing? What is it?

Guess we will never know for sure.

"Whether the melon falls on the knife, or the knife falls on the melon, it is still the melon that suffers."

I wish people could understand that.

What's it all About, Barry?

What's it all about, Alfie?
Is it just for the moment we live?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Alfie?
Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind?
And if only fools are kind, Alfie,
Then I guess it is wise to be cruel.
And if life belongs only to the strong, Alfie,
What will you lend on an old golden rule?
As sure as I believe there's a heaven above, Alfie,
I know there's something much more,
Something even non-believers can believe in.
What's it all about Alfie?
Just tell me, what's it all about?
What's it all about?


I am not feeling any love today. I thought that perhaps I would.

After all, we have just seen history being made. For us. The American people.

But I have never seen such divisiveness, such vitriol, such anger.

The war hasn't even sparked this much outrage.

But, allowing people to have health insurance has? I just don't get it.

Now President Obama is going out on a tour to sell a law that he has already passed to a nation that is perplexed as to what it all means.

And that brings me back to Alfie. He never really did figure it all out now, did he.

So, what is it really all about? Is that what is sparking the fear? The anger? That we really do not know? That we think it may impact us in a way that reaches into our own ability to receive the medical care that we have been receiving all along? Or is it something more primal?

I know, being a nurse these past 30 years, that our own health and that of our children is a very personal, somewhat intimate thing. And any changes to the status quo can be unnerving.

But, does it deserve this type of outrage? Nothing has even happened yet. Shouldn't we at least give it some time? All this anger is bad for our health. Geesh.

Anyway, I don't think that anyone really knows what it is all about; not Nancy Pelosi, not the Insurance Industry, not even President Obama. He made the play and now we have to just wait to see if we win the game.

So, is this really like the movie Alfie, which tells the story of a young man who leads a rather promiscuous lifestyle until several life reversals make him rethink his purposes and goals in life, but ends with him never figuring it all out anyway? I certainly hope not.

I would hope that this new legislation ends up being good for America. That we can finally figure it all out and know what it has been and still is all about.

Us.

Grandma is Going to be Angry.

Oh, boy. Now you guys have done it. Went and messed with the Seniors in the Healthcare Reform legislation. Oops. Not good.

Okay, so for the most part, Medicare is safe. Traditional Medicare that is. But, anyone who has one of those supplemental plans? You are going to see changes. They just wiped out the payments to keep them strong. And you will hear about it later this year.

The pundits are already talking about this "historic legislation" like it is the bravest, most wonderful thing our government has ever created. What?

I think Medicare was the greatest thing. Without Medicare, Seniors, who need medical care the most, would be in trouble.

But traditional Medicare never went far enough. It did not cover a lot of preventative things. So the government gave additional money to insurance companies to creat Medicare Advantage plans. And Seniors like it. A lot. 11 million and growing.

And now, there will be changes.

So look out for angry Grandma and Grandpa later this year. And by the way, they are the biggest voters.

Meanwhile, most of the meat in this new healthcare "reform" law will not happen until 2014. So, you can bet that Insurance companies are gearing up to screw us in other ways. Just like the bailed out banks who took our money and then cut off our credit and increased our interest rates to 30%. And the Government is doing nothing to stop it.

So, time will tell. But be on the look out for cane wielding seniors and many, many Democrats who will be trying to explain this to them come November.

Let the Spin Begin

This pretty much sums up the news this morning. Both sides are spinning the facts to their favor. The only losers here are us, the folks that really do not have a clue as to how this will all play out in the end.

Do we really think that the insurance companies will roll over and play dead? Do we really think that this bill is the first step toward universal healthcare? Come on. We are being fed bits and pieces of fluff to appease us.

We have had so called 'healthcare reform' in Massachusetts for some time now. All I have seen as a result of this reform package are that my premiums have increased, my co-pays have increased, my benefits have decreased, my town is receiving less money for services to the residents, our property taxes have increased, and the ER's are still jammed beyond belief. (People are NOT going to an MD for care---more are going to the ER)

I do not see healthier patients. I do not see everyone all happy and gleeful. I do see more services cut in our state for people who were already very well covered by health insurance, but can no longer enjoy simple life pleasures like attending the library because it will be closed more hours now. They can no longer go the the senior center, because, that too, is closed due to budget constraints. I have really not seen one positive outcome from healthcare reform here in Massachusetts. I especially, as a nurse, have not seen better patient outcomes. And that, to me, is the most important thing.

So, as the Democrats and the Republicans continue to fight over this bill, I will have to tune out. It is all just spin and there is no real substance. The bill isn't even completely written yet. Good grief.

Instead I will take more walks, try more yoga, eat healthier and try to control the one thing I can, my own health. Because, when you boil it down to reality, we are in charge of our own health and we have always been.

I don't need any more spin to tell me that.

After the Lovin'

"So, I sing you to sleep, after the lovin', I brush back the hair from your eyes. And the love on your face, it's so real that it makes me want to cry....."

Makes me want to cry, too.

All this post-coital bill-passing gush. It is enough to make a person think that something wonderful has happened. That this is the best thing to happen since, well since Barack Obama was elected President and this nation would not stand so divided anymore.

And look what he accomplished. It is not just a division anymore; it has all the makings of a total, out and out disunion.

But it is not simply all about the healthcare bill. Hell, most of us have not a clue as to what that bill really means anyway. It is the way in which it was done.

Sure it must have felt good at the time. And I am sure that it still feels pretty good to many Democrats who voted for this bill and are having their post-coital smoke while relishing the memory.

Just like Tiger did. Over and over.

Until he got caught.

And I am afraid that is exactly what is going to happen here. Many of us will feel cheated on. Lied to. Forced to accept a circumstance that we were never really sure of and not quite sure we needed or wanted. But too late, it is now our new reality. Too bad.
Deal with it.

And, like a woman scorned, there could be hell to pay.

So, Nancy and Barack, enjoy your warm, loving afterglow. It may come to an abrupt halt. I, for one, really hope not. I hope that this turns out to be good for America.

But, only time will tell.

So, enjoy the love songs for now. They could soon turn into this come November:

"Remember when you held me tight
And you kissed me all through the night
Think of all that we've been through
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do."

March Madness

Do you remember the scene in Mary Poppins when she and Bert and the children jumped into the chalk drawing and entered a make believe picturesque world?

That is exactly how I am feeling this March. Like I have entered a world that is surreal somehow. But it is not as pleasant as the world Bert drew up. Not by a long shot.

I am actually tired of hearing about Healthcare Reform, or whatever you want to call it. It is surely not reform by any stretch. It has become bigger than itself and is looming over our heads like some big March storm that threatens to flood us and cause widespread damage.

But Nancy Pelosi and her crew make it sound like if we can just get through the madness of March, then April will surely bring pleasant sunny days and blooming flowers and such. That we should just trust them. That they are doing the right thing.

Even though it is sneaky and beyond comprehension.

This healthcare bill is an enigma. No one really knows what it is all about. But we are promised things like, "Once we pass it, you will like it". Sound familiar? Perhaps they should get James Earl Jones to do a voice over for this slogan, just like he did in Field of Dreams, when he said, "If you build it, they will come."

So, anyway, looks like we have no choice in the matter what-so-ever. So we might as well relax. Go for a walk. Watch the spring flowers starting to burst from their winter lair. Think about smaller issues like, why is Sandra Bullock married to Jesse James? Is she nuts?

Anyway, I cannot wait for March madness to be over. I will relax and re-charge all spring and summer and look forward to a brilliant, crisp fall when the piper comes to call and Washington will pay for their inability, once again, to listen to the very folks who placed them in office in the first place.

And speaking of Mary Poppins, this banter with her employer, Mr. Banks, reminds me a lot of what a conversation between the American people and Nancy Pelosi might sound like:

Us: Just a moment, Nancy Pelosi. What is the meaning of this outrage?
Nancy: I beg your pardon?
Us: Will you be good enough to explain all this?
Nancy: First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear.
Us: Yes?
Nancy: I never explain anything.

What ever became of Democracy?

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.


Remember doing this every day? Did we even have a clue as to what we were really saying? What it really meant?

Does it have any meaning anymore? I wonder.

This week, all I hear about is news about the healthcare reform bill. How Nancy Pelosi wants to vote it in without any real votes. That she has publicly stated that no one in the House wants to vote for it. This really has me puzzled.

Which brings me back to the Pledge.

Especially the part that says, "to the Republic."

The Republic.

Does everyone remember what that means? Perhaps not in Washington.

A Republic is where we choose our leaders to represent us. It is also defined as a government without a Monarch. I am starting to feel as though we are not a Republic anymore. I am not sure what we are, but this is not about the people anymore. This is not representative democracy. I am not even sure it is about doing the right thing. And if Nancy Pelosi starts sporting a tiara, I know we are in real trouble.

And that is scary.

I know President Obama is all over the place selling this healthcare bill like some old fashioned snake oil salesman. Why should he have to do that? If the plan is so great and so good for everyone in America, then why didn't the Democrats, who have had a majority for a very long time, pass this bill already? The Republicans could not stop them and really still cannot stop them. So, why all the special deals? Why all the fuss? Why all the nonsense?

So, the only thing to assume is that the Democrats are afraid of this bill. Afraid that we will vote them out if it is passed. Afraid of our wrath. It must be really bad for them to worry about that. I mean, many of them voted for a very unpopular war, and I still see a lot of the same familiar faces around. That didn't seem to generate as much fear as this bill.

I think that a lot of people agree that we need true healthcare reform in this country and that we need a public option. But looks like we are getting neither and this bill could really put us at greater risk for more financial upheaval.

So, what will the Republic, the one that we have sworn our allegiance to all of our lives, do now? Will they pass a bill by slight of hand because Nancy Pelosi says to? Or will they listen to the people to whom they represent?

When I was a child I really thought the Pledge was just a bunch of empty words that we were forced to say each day.

Now that I am a grown up and know better, I guess, sadly, that I still have to believe that.

Why the Oscars remind me of Washington.

The Oscars. It is always a very long show and I always stay up way past my bedtime. I am usually not too impressed and mostly tired the next day. It is so not worth it. But for some reason, I watch year after year after year.

The "Academy", the organization to whom everyone always thanks during their 'thank you' speech, is really only a group of about 6,000 people who are part of the The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. The largest block of voters are actors and actresses. The rest are in the industry, but are producers, lawyers, art directors, cinematographers, film editors, makeup artists and the like.

So, it is really an insider group that votes for themselves and their contemporaries. Much of it is quite political in nature as they pander to each other for votes.

And this brings me to Washington.

Washington should just admit that they do the same exact thing. Oh, sure, we elect them from the outside. But, we oftentimes elect a facade really. An actor. Or actress. One who pretends to have our interests in mind.

They may have had good intentions, but once they enter the inner sanctum of the Congress, all bets are off. This small group, about 535 people, mostly men, then become quite a tight-knit bunch. They do what is best for themselves, their friends and any special interest group that brings them money or power or votes.

Or all three.

They pander to each other for votes. They lie. They lie about each other. They lie to each other. They pose for the TV cameras. They write books. They appear on Leno and The Daily Show. They dance on 'Dancing With the Stars'. The only thing missing from this particular group is their own award show.

Wouldn't it be fun to have an award show for Washington? Hmmmm. Not sure what they could call it. I can see them now, all dressed up with their botoxed faces and bleached teeth. They could parade down the Capitol steps dressed in all of their finery. Perhaps be interviewed by Joan Rivers. Could be simulcast on E-Network and C-Span.

They could have awards such as 'Best Campaign Lies', 'Worse Use of Tax-Payers Money', 'Most Pork in Bills Sponsored', and 'Least Likely to Do the Right Thing'. There may even be an award for good things done as well, but those would be rare.

Richard Shelby would win for 'Most Ridiculous Political Move' (remember the "blanket hold").

And there could be a special award for politicians who have already left the building--like John Edwards. 'Biggest Putz'. (The Biggest Loser is already taken)

Oh, I think it is a marvelous idea and much more interesting than the State of the Union Speech.

Yawn. A boring performance at best.

Yes, Washington is very much like Hollywood. Plastic and phony, yet, mildly entertaining. And filled with tabloid fodder.

And just like the Oscars that I watch year after year, I will also keep watching and paying attention to politics and voting for the guys (or gals) I hope will make a difference.

I am still hopeful that one day it will finally be worth it.

The Edge of Change.

So, here we are, teetering on the edge of big change. I mean, really big change. The change we asked for. The only problem is, we are not really sure what that change means. We are not clear on the details and we do not have a clue about the outcomes.

We hear a lot about change. Politicians run on change. We desire change, or so we say. But do we really?

Have we ever really identified exactly what we mean by change? I don't think we have. And now, we are afraid of it. Go figure.

Some promised changes make big headlines. Like the Consumer Financial Protection Agency. You know, the one that Senator Richard Shelby of Alabama wants to shut down. The one that promises to protect us as consumers. This is real change that we want and that we probably will not get, because no one wants to be the one to upset the banks.

Just ask Senator Richard Shelby.

This is change that may still happen, as far as a bill is concerned. It just will not be a bill with any teeth. So, we may see some change, but most of that will come from banks now finding ways to work around the weakened law and charge us even more fees. And, of course, they will still be giving big money to the political candidates who helped them achieve this goal.

So, no real change there, although at election time I am sure that this bill will be pointed to as part of a successful change agenda.

And now onto healthcare. Looks like President Obama wants healthcare reform to pass, even though most Americans polled do not think this is the right time.

And you all know how we felt about it in Massachusetts after the election of Scott Brown, who ran on a campaign platform that said that he would essentially, 'kill the bill'. And this from a blue state. The bluest of blue.

It is not that we want people to be without healthcare insurance; it is that we want the right type of reform, which begins and ends with the insurance industry being taken to task. And that is just not going to happen. Plus, we see big dollar signs here with no real understanding of how it will effect us as individuals, especially those of us already covered and happy with our coverage. So this is change we did not ask for, have actually spoken out against, but seems to be coming anyway.

So, what did we want when we actually said we wanted change?

I guess I would start with President Bush. We certainly grew tired of him, Dick Cheney and the war.

Ah, the war. We anticipated some real change there, didn't we? And we do not have change at all. On the contrary. Seems like we are moving forward as planned by the previous administration. No change at all. Not a smidge.

And how about Global Warming? Or is it now Climate Change? Seems nothing is happening at all on that end. Seems the scientists have to start over by proving that their data has not been falsified. Meanwhile, there is real evidence of change. All one has to do is look out the window and see an earlier spring and changes in weather patterns not seen in centuries. And I am sure that you cannot fake the melting and collapse of glaciers.

So, I guess we will leave it to our children to figure that one out. It is mired in controversy and doubt and that is basically a way of saying that Washington doesn't want any real change. They will simply argue about it. That way, they look as though they are doing something, even though they are not. Typical Washington behavior. And, again, no change.

So what has changed? I would venture to say, not much. Not much at all.

And so, because there has been no change that we can identify clearly, we are ripe for change again.

I just don't get it. No one listens to the people they represent. They don't listen, so we vote them out. Or, they pretend to listen at election time, and because we embrace change and fear it at the same time, we vote in the devil we know. Safer than the devil we don't know. But they again disappoint, and again we cry for change. Seems this cycle cannot be broken.

So what are we left to do? Seems not to matter. Seems the more I read and the more involved I get in the process, the more I see that I am not part of the process at all. That the change that Washington wants, or my Commonwealth wants or even my own local school board wants, will happen anyway. It will roll right over me.

And there I lie. Powerless. Disappointed. Angry and betrayed. My only ammunition? My vote. And even that is not enough.

So, what do we do? Cover our eyes and hope for the best? Pray that our elected officials make good decisions based on facts and real understanding, instead of pandering to the strong undercurrents of greed and power?

I am not sure.

I do not have any good answers. I feel overwhelmed at times with all the political games being played.

And for all the promises of hope and change, I still see homeless people on the street, kids without strong schools to educate them, elders who cannot afford the high price of their medication, pedophiles released from prison to harm again, the rich getting richer, bailed out banks doling out big bonuses while the unemployed grow in number. I see towns forced to cut back on teachers, firemen and police. I see unsafe bridges on our highways. I see food pantries beg for more supplies, fund-raisers for town libraries to keep them afloat, and more and more of us growing fatter and sicker each year. It all amazes me. This is not change at all. It feels like the more big government grows and changes, the less and less we have in our own towns and neighborhoods.

So, where is the change? The good change? I do not really see it. At least not change that betters us in any way and is truly meaningful. The change I see is maddening and unpredictable, and yet, we still clamor for it in an almost obscene way. And I don't see that changing any time soon, either.

Nothing endures but change.
Heraclitus (540 BC - 480 BC)

On Killer Whales and Politicians.

Poor Shamu.

Okay, it wasn't his real name, but everyone knows Shamu as the defacto killer whale on display at Sea World in Florida.

And he has finally lived up to his name. Killer. Some are even calling him a murderer. But is he really?

We take these poor animals out of their environment, place them in a pool, teach them some parlor tricks and put them on display for the sole purpose of making money. Then we act outraged when they start to act on their normal instincts. Seems silly to me.

I do feel sorry that the trainer died. But this was not the first time that this particular whale has shown that he can kill, nor will it be the last, unless he is forever kept away from humans. But in fairness to him, he was only being himself. Man got in the way and paid the price.

Live by the sword, die by the sword.

And so that brings me to politicians. They are placed on display as well, mainly during election season. They pander, they preen. They promise all sorts of lovely things. We treat some like rock stars, showing up in hoards at big rallies. Asking for autographs and photos. We are taken in by the show. And many times that is all it really is, a show.

Once elected though, when the spotlight fades, often they return to who they really are. Their natural instincts take over. Suddenly they sense a new aura surrounding them. Power. It is enticing and heady. And sometimes that power starts to make them feel invincible, and they make big mistakes.

Usually, these mistakes are sexual in nature. Sometimes they have to do with money, but those do not make the headlines nearly as often as the sex thing.

So how are the killer whales and the politicians connected? We expect a lot from both. We expect a killer whale to be on display in a pool and entertain us all with cute little games he plays with his trainer. We ignore the fact that this 12,000 pound animal has natural instincts that could kill someone. We just expect him to play by our rules, and when he doesn't, we are outraged.

Same holds true true for politicians. We don't really like to hear about our President having sex with a intern, or a potential Presidential hopeful impregnating a woman while his wife is receiving chemotherapy. No, we hate that. We expect more. But are we expecting too much?

People are still people. Just like whales are still whales, no matter how much you train them and pretend that they are pets. We feel our politicians are somehow better than the average person, then us. But the fact is, they are not. They are just people, too. Many times they are very narcissistic in nature to begin with, and that is probably what propelled them into politics in the first place. So we should not be so surprised when their true natural instincts come out. We probably knew about their shortcomings all along, but chose to ignore them.

So, we should cut Shamu a break. But should we give that same break to, say, John Edwards or Mark Sanford? Perhaps not. One would think that even though a killer whale cannot control their natural impulses, that these men could. That they could look beyond themselves and do what is right for the greater good; namely their family and their position in Government.

That would be the hope. But just like that poor trainer learned, you can never really trust a wild animal to always do what, in our minds, is right. And in that regard, I guess we should never really trust that politicians will always do the right thing either. But does that mean that they cannot still do their job, just because they cannot control themselves in a personal nature?

Such is the dilemma. Much like Sea World is continuing its whale shows and pondering the fate of the killer, we sometimes allow personal misgivings of our politicians to be forgiven, too. Look at Bill Clinton; what he did was most distasteful, but he is still admired for his political knowledge and experience.

John Edwards is a putz and should never be allowed back in politics again. What he did was disgraceful. But some politicians just make mistakes that have no impact on their work lives, so shouldn't we just let them keep working? Or at the very least, give them a second chance? I truly do not know the answer to that question.

I will never know if Shamu will kill again, but I do know he can probably entertain again. I will also never know the inner secrets and misgivings of our elected officials, but can I trust that they can do the right thing going forward as a representative of the people? That they can make good policy decisions that help us all, even though they make bad decisions in their own personal life? That is truly the core issue that we have to ask ourselves.

So, whether it is a 12,000 pound wild animal locked in captivity, or a polished, charismatic politician, I guess we will have to be cautious then and weigh the risks. That is really all we can do.

And to remember that intinct many times trumps reason; in wild animals and in man. And not to be too dissappointed when their true nature finally reveals itself.